Qadam Bous-4 " You call it Blood!"

“You have been searching for me for quite a long….you should have forgotten, it’s been years now. You want to possess what you like, and that is the hindrance itself” she closed the shop and started walking up the street. She didn’t look at me, as if she knew that what else I could do except following her. She was not like this before…a shy girl. Who would always hold my arm and walk. You know, you can’t be happy with anyone. The loneliness of years is now running through your veins…..you call it blood? It has penetrated into your bones and flesh. You are created by the One who is Alone without loneliness…… Who is in every form and image without any relation to any appearance…… Now tell what you have been seeking for? Hahhahahaha  she laughed out loud at me.
I was still speechless…trying to make any sense out of it….and after a while I surrendered my mind…..

 Jin patharoon ko hum nein aata ki thien dhahdkanien…
woh boolne lage tou humien pe baras pade…

“Ok O indescribable Turkish Beauty….I come from the lands of Lovers…don’t play with the strings of my heart…..you are now getting into the dangerous play. You are nothing ….if I am not there. Beauty has to hold the arm of the Love in any case and in every case…with out me my mysterious Fairy you can only be a hanging Portrait in some museum. I am the one who give life to you. So don’t play with me….. you are because of me….and don’t laugh at me.”

 Mein nein pathar se jin ko bnaya sanam…who khuda ho gaye dekhte dekhte……

“Oh such arrogance……this is exactly what I expected from you…you are arrogant. If you are the life then why you were not able to see me all these years?” … I was not able to see you with physical organ called eye, but I remembered you whenever I wanted to….and my remembrance made you alive during all this time…it was remembrance of my heart which was pumping your beating heart and it was running through your veins which you call blood my dear….its my remembrance. You are wrong I was never lonely”

“ you are madly in love with the virgin lands……why you can’t settle in one place? Now you are married and have a beautiful baby boy…..go and settle down. You can make fortune with all your worldly education and diverse experience…..not many have been blessed with what has been bestowed upon you…spend a normal life.” She looked into my eyes and gave me the sweet advice.

Ah….why you appeared now? Replied ignoring what she was saying to me. “ Laagi re tose laagi najar sayiaan laagi..” she stopped looking into my eyes…as if she became aware that I have come to know the truth.  You were always with me….you knew each and everything of what was happening in my life…what I was going through…..but why now??? What made you appear now?  You are my own Nafs…aren’t you?

If I give you the answer…I will go. Now you want me or the answer; its up to you?  As you got some sense out of it……I promise you that I will company you on your travels…only if you don’t try to touch me. The moment you will touch me ; I will disappear. If we can have this agreement; then I will see you in Andalusia…Until then…goodbye my dear….

Agreed….like always. I replied and here I was infront of the Hamidiya mosque….Omer and Karim bey were waiting there for me. I noticed that although I spent quite a lot time with her…but as if it was no time. I was again back to my flesh and bones. …..And we three entered the Hamidiya mosque….Allah O Akbar….. USke rang aur wohi jaane……. Lets see if Seher meets in Andalusia. I am taking flight tomorrow from Berlin to Barcelona….Thanks all for bearing all this till now.